Implosion
The Crush (1)
The Crush (2)
The Crush (3)
Good Advice
Unequal Footing
The Woolies
clare Carver
Dot Com Dance
Encourage Saint X
Disparage Saint X
D A T E L I N E U P D A T E : Unequal Footing
Tuesday, July 17
While I will be the first to praise, in theory, the novelty of meeting someone new at a club for a night of swing dancing - an activity that is certainly a delight at a friend's wedding (regardless of the age of the band) or as a backdrop to a really money movie - and while I am not oblivious to the benefit of the imposition of structure to help move through potentially awkward pauses inherent in a first encounter, it is not a flawless plan, especially when one of the parties begins at a competitive disadvantage (i.e., technical incompetence). This is in spite of the obvious advantage of getting right down to first contact.
Top Reasons Art Shows Make a Better First Date than Swing Dancing:
* * * * *
The structure of a date beginning with a dance lesson could likely result in the parties spending the better part of an hour moving around large circles in opposite directions, separated for all but 2.4 minutes. During this initial phase of the evening you get to watch your date have fun with a bunch of other guys while you stand the chance of spending up to 19.2 minutes practicing moves without ANY partner due to an unfavorable discrepancy in the crowd's male-to-female ratio. (Sure, you get to meet some new people as well, but it's still only for 2.4 minutes a pop.)
The structure of a date at an art gallery, by contrast, involves meeting your date, being able to hold a conversation of any desired length - maybe about the painting you both have been known to do, or the writing each is currently doing, or about living in SF, Boston, AND Western NY - without the looming threat of the shrill blast of a whistle mandating separation. Furthermore, there's the opportunity to enjoy a nice glass of wine and some food, and it's not entirely unheard of for you to keep a dry shirt the entire evening. (See below.)
* * * * *
Dancing, no matter how mild and controlled, involves movement. When set in a slightly warm room this will inevitably result in some amount of perspiration. While it may not be a big deal to swap a little sweat with someone you already know, it's not necessarily something you want to worry about the first time you're in the presence of someone new. This is especially true if your date happens to arrive late and joins you cool and dry as can be. (The contact thing quickly becomes a double-edged sword.) It should be noted that paranoia can be an amplifying factor in all of this.
The only sweat with art may occur if you're worried that a bit of the garnish from a salmon hors d'oeuvre might have lodged somewhere between your teeth.
* * * * *
It is not difficult to come up with an opinion about (or to fake analysis of) a painting. English major + numerous art courses = unlimited bullshit potential! It's a piece of cake if the artist happens to be fucking great. Irrespective of Wayne Thiebaud.
It is quite another story to have the responsibility for leading another person around a room, knowing she would rather to be doing ANYTHING more interesting than twirling around in rudimentary circles for minutes on end - even allowing for the two variations in steps you may have somehow happened to master.
* * * * *
An evening of dancing might inspire you to pop in those new contact lenses you've been testing out - a cause previously abandoned more than 13 years ago - despite the fact that in four recent attempts your eyes have gone bloodshot within the span of five minutes, and your right eye loses the ability to focus on objects inside a three-foot radius.
An evening of looking at art might inspire you to don your new sleek black rectangular glasses.
* * * * *
If your date says something like "My rule is that after the third time my partner steps on my foot I call it quits" you become very conscious of how often you transgress. When she actually does call it quits, you can't help wonder if you miscounted.
If you and your date are aware from the get-go that each has plans later in the evening with friends - and both plans happen to be interesting - you likely part with mutual respect.
* * * * *
In the end, swing dancing can really only lead to a second date courtesy of an automated electronic invitation to a Happy Hour the woman is hosting for 146 of her closest friends. On the other hand, an art show will most likely lead to such (literal) invitations as "Call me next week. I'd be up for anything."
While this is all very nice, I'm sure you're all still asking the same big question: Is sea kayaking a better date option than dancing all night to British pop? (Sometimes it IS all about the sweat factor.)
-- Saint X
(It should be noted that for purposes of scientific integrity - to say nothing of overall simplicity - the variable of wardrobe, aside from eyewear, has been held constant throughout this dating experiment.)
* * * * *
Next: When Worlds Collide
While I will be the first to praise, in theory, the novelty of meeting someone new at a club for a night of swing dancing - an activity that is certainly a delight at a friend's wedding (regardless of the age of the band) or as a backdrop to a really money movie - and while I am not oblivious to the benefit of the imposition of structure to help move through potentially awkward pauses inherent in a first encounter, it is not a flawless plan, especially when one of the parties begins at a competitive disadvantage (i.e., technical incompetence). This is in spite of the obvious advantage of getting right down to first contact.
Top Reasons Art Shows Make a Better First Date than Swing Dancing:
The structure of a date beginning with a dance lesson could likely result in the parties spending the better part of an hour moving around large circles in opposite directions, separated for all but 2.4 minutes. During this initial phase of the evening you get to watch your date have fun with a bunch of other guys while you stand the chance of spending up to 19.2 minutes practicing moves without ANY partner due to an unfavorable discrepancy in the crowd's male-to-female ratio. (Sure, you get to meet some new people as well, but it's still only for 2.4 minutes a pop.)
The structure of a date at an art gallery, by contrast, involves meeting your date, being able to hold a conversation of any desired length - maybe about the painting you both have been known to do, or the writing each is currently doing, or about living in SF, Boston, AND Western NY - without the looming threat of the shrill blast of a whistle mandating separation. Furthermore, there's the opportunity to enjoy a nice glass of wine and some food, and it's not entirely unheard of for you to keep a dry shirt the entire evening. (See below.)
Dancing, no matter how mild and controlled, involves movement. When set in a slightly warm room this will inevitably result in some amount of perspiration. While it may not be a big deal to swap a little sweat with someone you already know, it's not necessarily something you want to worry about the first time you're in the presence of someone new. This is especially true if your date happens to arrive late and joins you cool and dry as can be. (The contact thing quickly becomes a double-edged sword.) It should be noted that paranoia can be an amplifying factor in all of this.
The only sweat with art may occur if you're worried that a bit of the garnish from a salmon hors d'oeuvre might have lodged somewhere between your teeth.
It is not difficult to come up with an opinion about (or to fake analysis of) a painting. English major + numerous art courses = unlimited bullshit potential! It's a piece of cake if the artist happens to be fucking great. Irrespective of Wayne Thiebaud.
It is quite another story to have the responsibility for leading another person around a room, knowing she would rather to be doing ANYTHING more interesting than twirling around in rudimentary circles for minutes on end - even allowing for the two variations in steps you may have somehow happened to master.
An evening of dancing might inspire you to pop in those new contact lenses you've been testing out - a cause previously abandoned more than 13 years ago - despite the fact that in four recent attempts your eyes have gone bloodshot within the span of five minutes, and your right eye loses the ability to focus on objects inside a three-foot radius.
An evening of looking at art might inspire you to don your new sleek black rectangular glasses.
If your date says something like "My rule is that after the third time my partner steps on my foot I call it quits" you become very conscious of how often you transgress. When she actually does call it quits, you can't help wonder if you miscounted.
If you and your date are aware from the get-go that each has plans later in the evening with friends - and both plans happen to be interesting - you likely part with mutual respect.
In the end, swing dancing can really only lead to a second date courtesy of an automated electronic invitation to a Happy Hour the woman is hosting for 146 of her closest friends. On the other hand, an art show will most likely lead to such (literal) invitations as "Call me next week. I'd be up for anything."
While this is all very nice, I'm sure you're all still asking the same big question: Is sea kayaking a better date option than dancing all night to British pop? (Sometimes it IS all about the sweat factor.)
-- Saint X
(It should be noted that for purposes of scientific integrity - to say nothing of overall simplicity - the variable of wardrobe, aside from eyewear, has been held constant throughout this dating experiment.)
Next: When Worlds Collide